“Yes” — a word I thought I was supposed to say every time for years. Yes to extra work, yes to last-minute plans, yes to favours even when I did not have the energy. I think it mostly came from a part of me that felt pressured not to offend anyone and to be nice. Friends always told me I was nice, and for some reason, it was just assumed and expected that I would remain “nice” in all situations, despite feeling otherwise, uncomfortable, offended, alone, or suffocated. The sad truth is, we live in a world where always accommodating everyone gets you nothing but being walked all over like a doormat, taken for granted, and being the second choice except when people need things done. I told myself I was being kind, helpful, and dependable. But the truth? I was burning out, resenting the very people I wanted to please, and losing sight of who I was.
Saying no for the first time, to be honest, felt really good. It was amazing. It didn’t happen overnight; it took a lot of life lessons to reach that point. The first time I said “no,” my voice shook. My mind ran wild with guilt. What if they’re upset? What if I disappoint them?
But nothing terrible happened. The world didn’t collapse. In fact, I felt a strange, quiet relief… and that relief turned into something more powerful: freedom.
I wouldn’t say I’m fully there, but I am definitely on the path. When you say no:
You reclaim your time.
You protect your energy.
You send a message to yourself that your needs matter too.
It’s not about shutting people out. It’s about making space for the things and people that truly matter. Saying no is not selfish; it’s self-respect.
Ever since I put myself on this path, something shifted. My confidence has improved, I am learning to love myself better, treat myself better, and I’m becoming a better version of myself not just for me, but for the people who care for me, love me, and want to see me grow. I have become more present in the things I did say yes to.
I stopped feeling stretched thin.
I began choosing with intention, and suddenly life felt lighter, brighter, and far more my own.
“No” is a boundary.
“No” is a declaration of self-worth.
“No” is a door closing so another, better one can open.
Every time you say no to something that drains you, you say yes to yourself, your peace, your passions, and your well-being. The freedom you’re craving might not come from doing more.
It might just come from finally doing less and meaning it. If someone distances themselves, hates you, or gets offended because you prioritised yourself in an uncomfortable situation or in a situation where you did not have the energy to say yes, then they were not your true well-wisher to begin with. Someone who cares would understand, and someone who cares would not even put you in that position in the first place.
So the next time you feel the urge to say yes when your heart says no, remember: the life you want starts where the guilt ends.